My grief journey began suddenly in 2018 when my youngest daughter, Ellie, died in my arms at just 10 days old. I was crushed. Friends, family, and strangers came together around the world and prayed for my daughter’s healing, but unfortunately God’s plan for my child did not match my own. I had been a … Continue reading Good Friday and Easter: a view from the lens of child loss
Featured
Pregnancy After Loss
In December of 2019, I sat in my bathroom staring at a little plastic stick with two pink lines. I rubbed my eyes to be sure they weren’t telling me a lie. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach. Given the events of the last couple of years, a positive pregnancy test could … Continue reading Pregnancy After Loss
Featured
On Your 2nd Birthday
My precious child: today you would be 2 years old. The time has passed at both record speed while also dragging at a snail’s pace. Time has done that regularly since you left. I’m not the same mother I was when I gave birth to you two years ago. Your life and death has changed … Continue reading On Your 2nd Birthday
Featured
Saying Goodbye
It was a cold Monday in February. We had a family meeting scheduled for 1 pm that day and I knew that we were going to receive devastating news. Adam and I didn’t talk about it, almost as though verbalizing it would somehow make it more of a reality than it already was. The time … Continue reading Saying Goodbye
Hitting rock bottom: when life gives you more than you can handle
On January 3, 2019, I sat in the ER with my husband as the medical team ran tests to figure out why I was having chest pain and difficulty breathing. I was terrified and began to record a goodbye video for my daughter “just in case.” In a period of 11 months my life had … Continue reading Hitting rock bottom: when life gives you more than you can handle
