I could feel my chest tighten when I read it in the church bulletin: a baby girl would be baptized today. Had we not been there to listen to our oldest daughter sing with her school, I probably would have excused myself, unable to face it. The anticipation kept me from focusing on the service … Continue reading On Baptism After Loss
The things I wish I said when someone asked me about my daughter.
We learned at Ellie’s 18 week anatomy ultrasound that my pregnancy was considered high risk due to a condition called vasa previa. Basically, the blood vessels that are usually protected within the umbilical cord weren’t, and they were weaved into the membrane in the bottom of my uterus. These vessels are the baby’s lifeline. If … Continue reading A miracle birth
Dear loss dad, I see you silently standing beside your wife, a sense of calm in the midst of chaos. You wear a smile on your face, but your furrowed brow paints a different picture of the truth that lies within. You stood side by side with your wife as you watched your future unravel. … Continue reading A Letter to Bereaved Dads
On January 3, 2019, I sat in the ER with my husband as the medical team ran tests to figure out why I was having chest pain and difficulty breathing. I was terrified and began to record a goodbye video for my daughter “just in case.” In a period of 11 months my life had … Continue reading Hitting rock bottom: when life gives you more than you can handle
Beauty from Ashes 